pooooofff.... (kepamcitan yang teramat sangat)

seriously, this is an EXHAUSTING week..
mentally, physically, and emotionally...
not to mention, the ongoing events in KHS for sports days is wearing me off, there are several few more factors that leads me to the title above..

and, i notice how sly a person can turn into when its about winning and losing(don worry, its not u guys lol)
its a f5 fella, participated in the lontar peluru event (same as me) who signaled the person who is supposed to give the measurement(his fren, f5 too) to have the point further back.. its SO obvious cuz i was responsible to pick up the metal ball and saw all their gestures..
the greed in him, and the desire to win the competition SO MUCH misdirect him into cheating.. hyena is the word for him? (ok mayb its a lil' bit too heavy) lol.. pls take note that this is jz a VERY small, minor, unimportant event in skool lvl, and he did such stuff.. shame on him huh?
bt, too bad, he lost to me =D

and, guess wat? im appointed as the commander for kindersley?! (my sport's house's name)
fuhhh, imagine, x pernah kawat b4 in my life, and jz practiced for like, 2-3 times in BSMM and now i give command?? lol, kinda funny if u ask me...

this saturday.. haih...
this sunday... haihh.. pun x tau got o not, so rush...
next monday.. YEAH!! yeahh baby yeahh!!!
next tuesday.. i hope there will be something... yea... something..
next wednesday, la la la la la la~~ standing, we are standing~~

there will be not many 'NEXTs' left from may..
where the nightmare begins to unfold itself..
my trembling lips and heaving chest of speaking, when pointing out ideas.. IS KILLING ME!!! ok at least its killing my grades lol..
the ability to speak fluently, grammar-error-free sentence is certainly a major obstacle for me, and for that, im trying my very best to rectify it starting like, ages ago lol.. no la, starting in lower 6.. trying to improve my conversing skill, cut down usages on 'la', 'lo', 'meh', 'ah?' etc etc...

for other subjects, i hope my discipline wont fail me! mid year exam is lurking menacingly fast.. and all those subjects i USED to master WAAAAAY back in lower 6.. here i come~~~ NEC here i come for u every thurs and fri!! and, MEWAH CLUB!! here i come for u every thurs!!! too bad gay, if there's no gals u have to face me for 3 hrs? lol...

tomoro there will be tug of war competition, im gonna get screamo-activated by myself =D gotta get get~ gotta get get~
anyway, sunday, fiesta concerto~ a state of peace in mind is wat i nid the most, luck wont do anything good in it, skills matters

Ok...

Ok, seems like the previous post has no effect on me AT ALL. lol.. I shall rekindle the passion of writing!! Oh C'mon... I need more stimulation...!! (This sounds weird anyway)

My life, as in now, hmmm well, how should I phrase it? err well, there's no drastic changes, YET! (As I expected I would), and that's rather, well, pathetic.. = =''

Still busy with school's work load and stuff.. And now that I decided to go to library twice every week for revision/completion of homework, hope that it can ease the difficulties of me understanding what's trying to be conveyed by teachers in school. haha.

Ahhh.... I wanna be emo.. (already am, slightly) Cuz that is the main element that triggers me into writing, and post posted would be in higher quality and captivates more reader, rather than some random craps created jz to make this blog 'SEEMINGLY' alive.. lols.. (wen ket?)

Is something superficial deserves to be envied? I should have clear my thoughts on this like, AGES ago.. like, DUDE! its jz soooo SUPERFICIAL, why do I have to care so much anyway?! *bangs head*

I should have entrust her with more faith? Or its just simply that the other part of me wanted to let go, already sick with this feeling of self hatred inflicted by her..

I personally LOVE someone's pm in msn, 'sosickwituandyourlies, feltsostupidtobeloyaltoyoufor569days.'
hahaha, nice one, somehow i jz get wat he means, i jz get it..

Over and over again~ this is the sad song that keeps playing with my heart, keeps fooling with my soul, over and over again~

I noe im imperfect, nobody is!
bt i demand more attention, yes u can say that im selfish
sometimes i wish i could be loved MORE, cared MORE, and appreciated MORE, by u..

yes i noe im insensitive, or dull u might say
bt well im trying hard, to cut this spiky edge of me..

bt mayb sumtimes, im just thinking too much.
being realistic is not my key characteristic, too bad
I tend to imagine, and when im running wild in it, cold wave of reality hit me hard back into senses. *sigh*

ur name will be clicked AUTOMATICALLY, when it popped out at the left bottom corner of my screen, and here goes, the ever-silence of dree, its killing me..

I might be having a +ax^2 graph as my exterior, bt who noes, its jz a mere exterior, a pathetic epidermis that masked that -ax^2 soul of mine. who would imagine, a fragile soul concealed in a seemingly strong physique? (god knows wat im talking here)

Its BAD to be jealous, DUMB to be envious, STUPID to be selfish and FOOLISH to be angered by trivialities, bt, im not strong enuf to not to be gripped by this devilish grasp of devil, obscuring my vision, lowering my soul... =/